Stark Contrast
by kuroaiko2014
Summary: The difference between the Soldier and 'Bucky' was devastating to Tony. *AU / song fic* Standard disclaimer applies.


AU: {[Song Fic: Best I Ever Had by Gary Allen]} Stark met the Winter Soldier off and on over the years prior to the Civil War.

Tony paced back and forth agitatedly. He came to a standstill, holding his glass tightly in his fist. He sat heavily at the table and set his glass down with a sigh. His eyes trailed over the objects in front of him as he internally cursed the fact that Rhodey wasn't due for another three hours.

Tony glared at the letter and phone sitting mockingly on the table in front of him. It wasn't enough that that... _man_...had hurt his best friend. Now the Star-Spangled-Man-With-A-Plan had to make a mockery of him too. Sure, _he_ didn't remember Tony when they crossed paths, but that didn't mean he never would. It _had_ been a couple years since the last time **Солдат** (the Soldier) had crossed paths with him.

Tony picked up the phone and hurled it across the room with all his strength. It pulled at his injuries, and with a hiss of pain, he eyed where it smashed into the liquor cabinet. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw how narrowly he missed the expensive bottle of his favorite whiskey. **Его спаситель. Его Солдат**. (His savior. His Soldier.) His reason for continued existence if he would let himself go there. His Jamie.

Tony buried his face in his hands as he tried to control his breathing. After so many _years_ of random visits, Spangles had stolen his pillar of strength. How was he supposed to get by if he couldn't see his Soldier? That fucking Patriotic-Poster-Boy lost him everything by not even reading the paperwork set before him. His Jamie didn't remember Tony; he only recalled 'Stevie' and their life before the war.

That old Grandpa took him from Tony. He didn't bother checking to see if Tony even knew about the deaths of his parents being at the hands of his best friend. Of course, Tony knew that the assassinkilled his parents. Tony's not a fucking idiot. He came to Tony right after because the deaths triggered his memories. He started to break his programming then. Not that his handlers knew that. They were letting him stay out of cryo longer at that point, but his memories... He kept calling Tony 'Howard', and at first, that just hurt Tony, but then he realized he could use that to help him regain everything. If the assassin could remember, Tony would be able to help him take down the organization using him for their own gain.

Tony sneered down at the letter again. The letter saying that he could call the Capsicle if he ever needed anything. Not that the Man-Out-Of-Time would understand his need for the ex-Soviet-Assassin to actually _be_ the assassin. The phone had shattered against the back of the liquor cabinet, much to Tony's shock, so no one would be making any calls. Least of all, him. If that flag wearing _moron_ wanted to get in touch, he could call Pepper or Fury. Pep would tell him to kiss her ass since _she_ didn't even speak to Tony without an intermediary now. The only time she had gotten in touch with Tony, personally, was once she saw the airport fight being aired on International News. Fury was a toss-up. He _was_ still pretending to be dead, after all. Dead people don't carry cell phones. It would be a relief, never to hear from Steve again... so why was his heart hurting?

Tony ran his hands through his hair and sighed before looking around the room. If Jamie didn't remember Tony, Tony would just have to move on. Obviously, he didn't remember the important things during his time as an assassin. Tony shook his head and looked at his long-forgotten tablet. He clicked through several unimportant apps before digging into FRIDAY's code to change the **Снежинка протокол** (Snowflake Protocol). He ignored FRIDAY's inquiries on whether he was sure that he wanted to change such a long-standing order. The only time he listened was when she asked if he wanted to put in a loophole for the improbability of the Soldiermaking a breakthrough and remembering something vital about Tony that no one else could possibly know.

Tony sighed and stood. He walked down to his lab to work on the 3D images he'd had FRIDAY pull up on Rhodey's latest set of prosthetics. He made sure that no one could enter his lab and collapsed at his workbench, canceling the images of the prosthetics without any changes. He took a few heaving breaths before he broke down. He knew why Cap was so against the Accords, but if he'd just given him a _chance_ , Tony could have had them ratified and edited to protect the team the way they should have been to start. Why wouldn't that walking, talking, fashion faux pas _listen_? Was it because he wasn't good enough?

But, of course, Rogers had to take Barnes and any possibility of the return of his memories about Tony away. Tony kept in touch with King Kitty. He knew that they put the assassin back on ice. T'Challa made sure Tony knew that 'Bucky' had chosen this on his own and that somehow made it worse. Tony had hung up rather abruptly on _that_ conversation. All that did was bring into sharp relief the fact that 'Bucky' had been the one to back Captain Tightass. 'Bucky' that attacked him in tandem with the symbol of Freedom. 'Bucky' whom he had hurt so drastically. The hope that he'd revert to the Soldier at the destruction of the arm was dashed when his mind shut down almost completely. Obviously, the multiple wipes he'd had after his first encounter with Steve had ruined him.

Tony tried to keep his eyes open because everytime he closed them, he remembered stolen moments and trust shared between him and his Soldier. It was like no reprieve could be found.The days when the assassin could get away from an op and would visit to check on him weighed heavily on his mind. He had put in place several Protocols to allow for the assassin to get into his home to see him, whether it was for a moment, a few hours, or even days.

Tony hunched over and looked at his hands, clenching and unclenching. It was time to move on. Nothing would bring back his Soldier if Rogers had anything to say on the matter. He may as well get over it and give up. There was no use mourning what would never be again.

"I changed my mind, FRIDAY. Remove the **Снежинка протокол** (Snowflake Protocol) completely. Jamie isn't coming back. I need to focus on the now. I don't want Bruce to get hurt in the coming shitstorm that General Dipshit Ross is stirring up, thanks to Captain Fuckwad." The phone rang. "Speak of the devil. Good afternoon, General!"

" _Tony, we have a problem,_ " Ross's voice was angry.

"Ah, please hold." Tony grinned maliciously.

" _No. Don't-_ " Ross's voice cut off as a red light started flashing on the phone as Tony pressed the hold button, cutting General Rodd off in mid-rant.

"FRIDAY?"

FRIDAY sighed, "On it, Boss."

"You're only the best I ever had," Tony muttered under his breath as he walked out of the room, the hold light still blinking on the phone.

A/N

I got a review saying I couldn't have lyrics, so this is the newly edited and reformatted version of Stark Contrast. Let me know what you think.


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